I have graduated with a first class degree and am absolutely over the moon.
I have worked hard for the whole three years of university and all that hard work has finally paid off. At times it felt impossible with all the other stuff going on in my life; transition, learning difficulties (that had a huge negative impact on my A Levels) and my whole family life being in turmoil. Yet I have managed to balance out all of that and come out on top. I did use to think that the saying ‘what doesn't kill you makes your stronger’ was a load of old twaddle but I think there is some truth in it, in the last few weeks since finishing my confidence levels have changed so dramatically even my dad noticed (and sometimes I doubt he would notice if I came home missing a limb).
Now having time to reflect I can look back at the whole three years of university, at the beginning I was really nervous, quiet and a less happy version of the person I now am. Even going back through my posts on here I can see a change – in march last year I made this post about feeling brave to wear shorts in public. This year I have been going out on the town, to pubs with friends and to lectures all in shorts without a care in the world. Maybe some of that is down to being too busy to worry about anything over than work but I think it’s more than that.
I feel my new found confidence is here to stay – it’s not a riding a high confidence but feels more like inner calm and strength, maybe it’s more self-assurance and belief in my own abilities than just confidence.
Especially in this last final year I have often thought “have I bitten off more than I can chew?”. I’ve worried about doing a dissertation outside of my immediate subject area and struggled with running the LGBT society and trying to do third year at the same time. During these wobbles in self-belief one of my good friends would often say “don’t stress over not getting a first, only 8% of people get them so you are unlikely to get one anyway”. Whenever he said that I’d just think “well someone has to be in that 8%, why not me”.
And much to my surprise it turned out that I could do all three really well. With the LGBT society we have won prizes this year for "Best designed freshers stall", "Most improved society" and "Society of the year". I got an A- for my dissertation and a First overall.
|Winning 'Society of the Year' award.|
I guess that is what this degree has really taught me, confidence doesn’t have to be brash and loud and bold, instead it is just listening to that stubborn inner voice that quietly says “why not me, I can do it – someone has to”.
|Time to celebrate!|